Drivers

It's time I share my vast knowledge with my friends, all 5 of you. I have lived in many different places in my adult life and have observed all kinds of driving habits. For your benefit, I can tell you where drivers excel and where they need serious help. Here goes. Tell me what you think.

Wisconsin-Drivers in WI drive very fast on freeways. They tend to be quite courteous when driving in towns and cities. They handle their snow pretty well. Their downfall is left lane travel. They get on the freeway and set up camp in the left lane making it impossible to pass them properly. They just don't seem to get it when the signs say "Keep Right Except to Pass!"

New Jersey-They signal, they are swift, they slow down school zones! All things considered, they are the best drivers in the country.

Texas-Biggest wastes of oxygen on the face of the planet. They are fast, they weave in and out of lanes with no signaling, they can't handle the rain, they can't handle the once yearly snowfall. This is truly the worst group of drivers in the country. I just can't say one good word about them as drivers.

Idaho-They are small towners up there. They are pretty oblivious to others around them. They still haven't figured out what that little stick coming out of the steering wheel is for. Maybe it's to turn on those pretty green Christmas arrows?! They also have a love affair with the left lane on the freeway. Still, Idahoans have no malice toward anyone. They are just totally oblivious to others on the road. They are generally courteous to pedestrians. Like Mainers, they have a constant speed rain, snow, sleet, hail, or shine--theirs is just slower than Maine.

Pennsylvania-A police officer once pulled me over in PA to tell me I need not come to a complete stop at stop signs if there were no other cars there. He was behind me at the four-way stop and just got impatient I guess. They are otherwise pretty courteous drivers.

New York-The city and upstate are totally different. The city will eat you alive unless you respect its craziness. Beep a lot, especially when it makes no sense to do so. Don't form lanes, they'll kill you if you try. Watch the cabies. Never trust them unless they are wearing a turbin. Remember the 5 second rule at newly turned lights. Don't worry about bumpers, they can be replaced. Defend your fenders. Upstate NY is really very similar to PA and NJ. Have fun.

Vermont-They're all very, very courteous. They're all stoned. Keep some distance.

New Hampshire-The most courteous drivers in the country. I had to make a left on a weekend crowded highway once. I thought I would never get out as the flow was slow and steady. It never had a break in flow. As I was about to give up and turn right (after waiting for just a minute), a driver came to a complete stop and waived me in. No one beeped at her. It was as if they expected someone to let me in. Great people and great drivers. They handle their snow very well in NH.

Massachusetts-They can't handle their snow down there at all.

Maine-Nice and coureous for the most part. If it is snowing, watch out. They WILL NOT slow down for anything. They have a constant speed be it the summer month the fall two months or the winter nine months.

Washington, D.C.-INSANE!!!

Virginia-Quite good, actually. I think they have very few bad habits. They tend to travel a bit slowly sometimes.

Illinois-Not bad. They do love that left lane, just like Wisconsinites.

California-Much better driving than you would expect.

Utah-Complete idiots! The worst on the planet. No signaling, no paying attention, some too fast, the rest too slow, running red lights, not taking turns at stop signs, not respecting the proper flow around traffic circles, left lane camping, cell phone talking, kid in car seat checking, bird flipping imbeciles. Oh yeah! They can't handle snow very well either.