Saturday, November 8, 2008

Oingo Boingo lyrics for your enjoyment!

This is one of my favorite Oingo Boingo songs.



Capitalism by Oingo Boingo (1981)


"There’s nothing wrong with capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with free enterprise
Don’t try to make me feel guilty
I’m so tired of hearing you cry

"There’s nothing wrong with making some profit
If you ask me I’ll say it’s just fine
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live nice
I’m so tired of hearing you whine
About the revolution
Bringin’ down the rich
When was the last time you dug a ditch, baby!

"If it ain’t one thing
Then it’s the other
Any cause that crosses your path
Your heart bleeds for anyone’s brother
I’ve got to tell you you’re a pain in the ass

"You criticize with plenty of vigor
You rationalize everything that you do
With catchy phrases and heavy quotations
And everybody is crazy but you

"You’re just a middle class, socialist brat
From a suburban family and you never really had to work
And you tell me that we’ve got to get back
To the struggling masses (whoever they are)
You talk, talk, talk about suffering and pain
Your mouth is bigger than your entire brain
What the hell do you know about suffering and pain . . .

(repeat first verse)

(repeat chorus)

"There’s nothing wrong with capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with capitalism "

Oingo Boingo


The above lyrics describe how I am feeling today. You just have to imagine Danny Elfman singing his heart out to those words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu3nkp9KP2s

Monday, November 3, 2008

Some Heroes of Mine

I have a personal hall of fame. It is filled with people who have in one way or another achieved excellence in their field. I have placed these people in my hall of fame because they represent attributes I wish I had or would like to develop better. Some are well known like John Stockton and Mother Teresa. Others are anonymous or nameless because their acts deserve protection from worldly interpretations and perversions. I have recently inducted a few more heroes to my list. Here are their stories:

Nancy the Great-She is going door to door in California to protect the divine institution of marriage. She holds signs on street corners doing her best to rally support for her position. In spite of fierce and disrespectful opposition, she goes about defending her own position and the official position of her church. To honor her God, she stands before the world and boldly declares that she will not be intimidated by all of the middle fingers, shouts of obscenity, and even gay hairy bare butts hanging out the windows of cars as they pass. She stands up for moral principals, religious liberty, freedom of speech unmolested, and the democratic process. She also makes a firm and significant stand against judicial oligarchy. Most of all, she is a wife and mother of 4 children.

Wendy the Wise-She has resisted the endless petitions and intimidations of the labor union common to her profession for years. She has taken a moral stand and will not join this union. This union has tried everything to bully workers into its ranks. It has denied its own obvious partisanship. It lied to her about its multi-million dollar support of Democratic candidates and none for Republican candidates. This organization is known for its totally liberal stance on everything from abortion to same-sex marriage. Her firm stance against this powerful, destructive union is an inspiration. She stands firm against the quasi-governmental organization that tries to replace the free-thinking consciences of its educated members. First and foremost, she is a wife and mother of 7 children.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Drivers

It's time I share my vast knowledge with my friends, all 5 of you. I have lived in many different places in my adult life and have observed all kinds of driving habits. For your benefit, I can tell you where drivers excel and where they need serious help. Here goes. Tell me what you think.

Wisconsin-Drivers in WI drive very fast on freeways. They tend to be quite courteous when driving in towns and cities. They handle their snow pretty well. Their downfall is left lane travel. They get on the freeway and set up camp in the left lane making it impossible to pass them properly. They just don't seem to get it when the signs say "Keep Right Except to Pass!"

New Jersey-They signal, they are swift, they slow down school zones! All things considered, they are the best drivers in the country.

Texas-Biggest wastes of oxygen on the face of the planet. They are fast, they weave in and out of lanes with no signaling, they can't handle the rain, they can't handle the once yearly snowfall. This is truly the worst group of drivers in the country. I just can't say one good word about them as drivers.

Idaho-They are small towners up there. They are pretty oblivious to others around them. They still haven't figured out what that little stick coming out of the steering wheel is for. Maybe it's to turn on those pretty green Christmas arrows?! They also have a love affair with the left lane on the freeway. Still, Idahoans have no malice toward anyone. They are just totally oblivious to others on the road. They are generally courteous to pedestrians. Like Mainers, they have a constant speed rain, snow, sleet, hail, or shine--theirs is just slower than Maine.

Pennsylvania-A police officer once pulled me over in PA to tell me I need not come to a complete stop at stop signs if there were no other cars there. He was behind me at the four-way stop and just got impatient I guess. They are otherwise pretty courteous drivers.

New York-The city and upstate are totally different. The city will eat you alive unless you respect its craziness. Beep a lot, especially when it makes no sense to do so. Don't form lanes, they'll kill you if you try. Watch the cabies. Never trust them unless they are wearing a turbin. Remember the 5 second rule at newly turned lights. Don't worry about bumpers, they can be replaced. Defend your fenders. Upstate NY is really very similar to PA and NJ. Have fun.

Vermont-They're all very, very courteous. They're all stoned. Keep some distance.

New Hampshire-The most courteous drivers in the country. I had to make a left on a weekend crowded highway once. I thought I would never get out as the flow was slow and steady. It never had a break in flow. As I was about to give up and turn right (after waiting for just a minute), a driver came to a complete stop and waived me in. No one beeped at her. It was as if they expected someone to let me in. Great people and great drivers. They handle their snow very well in NH.

Massachusetts-They can't handle their snow down there at all.

Maine-Nice and coureous for the most part. If it is snowing, watch out. They WILL NOT slow down for anything. They have a constant speed be it the summer month the fall two months or the winter nine months.

Washington, D.C.-INSANE!!!

Virginia-Quite good, actually. I think they have very few bad habits. They tend to travel a bit slowly sometimes.

Illinois-Not bad. They do love that left lane, just like Wisconsinites.

California-Much better driving than you would expect.

Utah-Complete idiots! The worst on the planet. No signaling, no paying attention, some too fast, the rest too slow, running red lights, not taking turns at stop signs, not respecting the proper flow around traffic circles, left lane camping, cell phone talking, kid in car seat checking, bird flipping imbeciles. Oh yeah! They can't handle snow very well either.

California

I love California. It is an amazing place with everything you could ever want. You have beautiful sandy beaches, rocky beaches, mediterranean climate, coastal mountains, beautiful bays and islands, Redwood forests, Sequoia forests, amazing agriculture, deserts, alpine highlands, unforgettable national parks, glacier carved valleys, pristine rivers, Lake Tahoe, the Sierras, the Cascades, palm trees, and so much more.

After all that, why don't we all just move there? Well, lets take a closer look. Oh no. There is Hollywood. So much for the rest of that stuff. San Andreas fault, do your job.

Apples

Red Delicious-below average

Macintosh-neutral

Rome Beauty-like JFK, all show and no go

Gala-good

Golden Delicious-good

Granny Smith-very good for baking

Braeburn-divine

Mowing the lawn

Why is it that I get such a kick out of mowing my lawn? I got so much pleasure from buying my first lawn mower. I can only imagine that it is some kind of guy thing. I think it stems from the scriptures, really. Man is to have "dominion" over certain things. Since I am only occasionally granted dominion in my own home, like when I pick who offers the blessing on the meal or family prayers, I need to feel that elsewhere. The lawn gets it. I just love that feeling of control. I can go diagonally or longways or sideways. Where else in life do you get so darn many options. I work for no one but myself out there. It also gives me a little buzz that I can control the length. I just really think that my lawn, not a dog, is this man's best friend.

Monday, October 6, 2008

More Movie Reviews

Arranged

This movie gets 4 and a half stars. Not only will you fall in love with the cute little orthodox girl, but you will also enjoy a liberal, obnoxious witch being depicted negatively. It is very refreshing.

My Fair Lady

Yes, I know. This is too old to review. I am going to anyway. 4 stars. It is a timely classic. Professor Higgins says what every man in the world wishes he had the guts to say.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Movie Reviews

HBO's John Adams series: 5 stars.
I would recommend this to anyone interested in U.S. History. (Don't let the kids watch Episode 1.) The casting of Jefferson in this series almost made me cry. That is how I picture Jefferson.

Saint Ralph: 4 stars.
I know that this is old, but I just watched it for the first time last week. Many of my friends here in Utah just won't get it. I think you have to have grown up among a lot of good Catholics to appreciate this movie. Some may consider it irreverent in parts.

Persuasion: 1/2 star.
My wife made me. Men and brethren, don't do it.

Children of Heaven: 4.5 stars.
This is a foreign film with subtitles. It is one of the truly exceptional films that is so good you don't mind having to read the subtitles. It is a beautiful reminder that children are children.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World: 5 stars every time.
My kids already love this old, old classic. It is truly timeless--a masterpiece.

Titanic: no stars, not even a half.
So much could have been done to make this movie great. Instead, you find yourself needing to vomit. The best seen in the movie is when Leo DiFaggrio is slowly sinking into the abyss. I think that movie says it all for the Hollywood view of what love is. You meet, you lust, you knock a quick one off in the back seat of a car! 80 plus years and children and grandchildren later you still think about the stupid act of your youth. I guess that is the way they all think in Hollywood.

Errand of Angels: 2 stars.
Cindi and I went to the theatre for the first time in four years a while ago. We were waiting to see when Mama Mia started. It didn't for a while, so we opted for the latest in the long line of the Mormon movie genre. Apparently, everyone thinks their mission is worthy of a movie. I guess we needed another one. Missions are beautiful personal things that you can remember the rest of your life. You can even tell your family some stories from your mission on occasion. Once or twice in a score of years it might be appropriate to share a mission story while speaking or teaching at church. No other time!!! The two stars come from the scenery of Austria--what a perfectly beautiful country!